Facing reality
by sico sally
Summary: Clary left New York because she was scared and didn't know who her child's father was, her stepbrother that raped her or her boyfriend. now she is back and is ready to tell the truth and face reality. sorry I am not the best at summary but the story is better. (all humans)
1. Chapter 1

Chapter: 1

**so I hope you guys like my story and let me know if I should keep writing it **

**~N**

* * *

I know I didn't make the best decision moving from New York to one of the smallest towns in Arizona, but I was young and scared. I was trying to run away from the reality because I was scared to face the inedible. The one thing I don't regret was paisley. She was the whole reason I moved. But I know I will have to go back. Pas is 4 years old and has my flaming red hair and green eyes with gold specs in them. She is really small just like I am, and weighs next to nothing.

"Mama?" pas says as she tugs on my sleeve.

"Yes sweetie?" I ask.

"Can I have a piece of toast?" she asks me so innocently that I smile at her.

"Of course." I say picking her up and carrying her to the kitchen.

I get a piece of bread out of the fridge and put it in the oven.

"When are we leaving?" she asks me

"We are leaving Friday."

"And what day is today?"

"Wednesday."

"So we are leaving in…" she scrunches up her noes thinking "two days."

"That's right!" I tell her taking her toast out of the oven and putting a lot of butter on it, the way I know she likes it. "Do you have all your clothes packed up?" I ask her handing her the toast.

Her eyes wide as she takes the toast and scurries off to her room. I just smile at her as she runs off, then get a box and start packing away the dishes.

I'm scared to move back, I haven't seen any of my friends in New York in 4 and a half years. The only reason I left was because I didn't know who the father was. You see when I was 16 I had the most perfect boyfriend. I mean yeah sure he could be arrogant, and had a huge ego, and was an idiot. But he was my idiot. And when we finally had sex it was great. But my stepbrother Sebastian wasn't too happy about it. Even when I was younger he wasn't very nice to me. But I had no idea he would do such a thing to me. He said he wanted me all to himself, so I guess that was why he raped me but he said if I told a living soul about it then he would do much worse. So when I found out I was pregnant I panicked. I didn't know who the father was and if it was Sebastian's I don't know what I would have done. But know that I know Pas is Jace's daughter I know I have to go back and face him. No matter how scared I am. He might hate me forever but I still have to tell him.

I finish packing up the whole kitchen and go into Paisley room. She has all her clothes packed up and her books and toys, she is now looking at a picture of me and Jace back when I was 16 before all of it happened.

"Mama who is this guy you are with?" she asks me.

"You will know soon enough." I tell her as I get her pajamas out and help her into them. I then lay her in bed and pull the covers up around her. "Good night Pas I love you." I say kissing her forehead. She is already asleep so I just turn out the light and leave her room.

* * *

"Pas do you have to go to the bathroom before we start driving?" I ask her. She shakes her head no as I look around our little apartment to make sure we haven't forgotten anything. After double checking I grab Pas' hand and go out to the car. I help Pas buckle into her booster seat and then I go around to the drivers sit and get in as well. I pull out of the parking lot and the moving vans followed right behind me. I get on the high way. "Ok Pas are you ready to drive to Texas?" I say she nods excitedly as she go down the high way. My goal is to make it to Texas tonight, then by tomorrow we will have gone through Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Georgia. And hopefully by Sunday night we will passed through Tennessee, Kentucky, west Virginia, Pennsylvania, then we will be in new York.

I put in a Kate wolf CD and then I start singing along to the song across the great divide. Pas joins in with me and starts to sing, even at age 4 she was a voice like an angle just like her daddy. This is going to be a great trip I think to myself

* * *

By Monday afternoon we have reached New York City. I pull up to our apartment and help Pas out of the car.

"Is this where we are going to live?" Pas asks me looking up.

"Yes, Yes we are." I tell her leading up the stairs and to the apartment. I pull out the key and unlock the door. We go inside and look around, the mover trucks are here and I start to unpack something's.

"Mama I'm hungry." Pas tells me pulling on my sleeve.

"OK let's get you something to eat." then it accurse to me that we don't have any food. "What do you think about going and getting some food from the grocery store?" I ask her

"Yes lest go." She says pulling on my sleeve. Ok but first let's change. I tell her she nods at me and runs to find the box full of her clothes. I find mine easily and pull out a pair of black leggings a blue tank top and a flannel plaid long sleeve bottom up with and slip on a pair sneakers, no need to look nice really. I go find Pas and see she found her box of clothes I pull out pair of blue leggings and green long sleeve shirt I put a blue jacket on her and a pair of boots she looks adorable I have to say. I grab her hand and lead her out the door while grabbing my wallet and putting it my shirt pocket. I help Pas in the car then go to the driver's seat. I start car and drive to the store, it takes about 15 minutes to get to the store and that is pretty good for New York. I didn't know how much I missed New York until I returned. I get out of the car and help Pas out before going into the store. I get a cart and start going around the store getting everything we needed even after almost 5 years this story hasn't changed much. I tell Pas where to get the milk and she runs off to find it, I am turned around getting some bread cause you would be surprised how much bread that little girl can eat. Then I hear a male voice from behind me say something.

"Clary?" I turn around and I am looking one of my longest best friend, well used to be best friend. Well I think its him anyways. He is taller and more muscular from the looks of him. And it looks like he grew into his ears and got his braces off. "What are you doing here?"

"Well I moved back here." I tell him. But before he could ask another question Pas came running up to me.

"Mama I got the milk." She says handing it to me.

"Thank you Pas." I say putting it in the cart.

"Clary, who the heck is this?" Simon asks me looking at Paisley.

I tense noticing that I can't say she isn't my daughter cause she most defiantly is even a stranger could tell that.

"Simon this is Paisley, Pas this is Simon." I say

"You didn't tell me you had a daughter!" Simon almost yells.

"Simon can we not do this here?" I ask him.

"Fine but you are coming over to my house with me cause you have a lot of explaining to go." He tells me crossing his arms.

"Ok I will come over tomorrow." I tell him

"No you are going to come over now." He tells me firmly I know better than to argue with him when he is like this so I don't.

"Ok fine but I am going to bring the grocery's home first." I tell him he just nods and pulls out a piece of paper and writes his address on it and hands it to me. I grab Pas hand and lead her to the check out.

* * *

I pull up to the address Simon gave me and I get out of the car and then get Pas out of the car. I grab her hand and start to make my way to the front door. I'm holding Pas hand for more of a reassurance for myself then her. I knock on the door and I her a female voice yell coming. Then the door open reveling a tall girl with straight raven black hair and sky blue eyes. Shit I think to myself Simon didn't tell me he lived with Izzy. Her eyes widen as she looks at me, then her eyes dart down to the little girl who is holding my hand right now.

Thankfully Simon came to the door right behind Izzy

"Oh Izzy I meant to tell you I ran into Clary today." He says it so casual like 4 years hasn't gone by.

"You Broke Jace's heart!" she spits in my face. "And who the fuck is this." She demands

"Izzy this is my daughter Paisley."

"And who is the father." She pushes I just look down and that's all the information she need to know.

"That's it I'm calling him right now." She informs me. Going into the house.

"Izzy please don't do this!" I say picking Pas up and going after her. "Can't I just talk to you first?"

"Fine but if I don't like your reasoning behind all this I'm going to call him and tell him." She tells me.

"Mama what is going on?" Pas asks me looking up at me with her big green eyes.

"I will tell you later." I say kissing her on the top of her head. "Do you guy have paper and colored pencils?" I ask them Simon nodded and went off to get them for Pas. He returns and hands them to me I take Pas into a different room and set her up with coloring. I go back to Izzy and Simon and sit down

"Well start talking." Izzy says.

"Ok so as you guys know me and Jace were really happy together, he was the best thing that ever happened to me." I say remembering when I was younger. "Once we finally had sex Sebastian found out. He wasn't happy at all with me. He told me I would always belong to him…. And then he… he raped me…" I say letting a tear slid own my cheek. "He told me if I ever told a living soul he would do much worst then what he did to me that night." I am still looking at my lap not wanting to see their faces. Then I continue, "So when I found out I was pregnant I didn't know who the father was, and I panicked. If it was Sebastian's I didn't know what I would do, so I just ran ok? I admit it was a stupid move on my part but I was young and scared." I say finishing then I dare to look at both of them they don't look to mad anymore.

"Then how did you know it's his daughter?" Izzy asks me.

"DNA test." I state she nods in understanding

"But you still have to tell him." She tells me and this time it is my turn to nod.

I hear the front door open and close "YO Izzy! Where are you!" I hear a voice yell through the house. "Me and Alec need your help with something."

My eyes widen because I know who it is, Jace.

* * *

**so I am going to camp tomorrow so I wont update it for about a week, so sorry guys. but if a lot of you really like this and tell me I might be able to post another chapter before I go to camp! **

**~N**


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter: 2

**I'm really sorry its so short I just tried to update again before I go to camp and I didn't have much time to do it so it is really short but I still hope you guys like it and if you guys have any ideas about something you want to happen in this story you can tell me in a review and I will try and fit in the story. **

**~N**

* * *

"Do you think a sword or fire is a better weapon?" I hear Jace yell to Izzy.

"I would have to say high heels." She yells back

I hear Jace's voice come closer now knowing where she is, "But Izzy that wasn't one of the options!" he complains.

"Well it's the answer I gave you." She says not having to yell anymore.

"Fine then what do you think Si-" but he stops talking because he sees me sitting one of the chairs. "C-Clary?" he says

Before I can reply I hear Pas come running into the kitchen. Things just got a whole lot better I think to myself. "Mommy, mommy look at what I drew!" she says coming up to me and handing me the picture. I look at it, its a picture of her and me holding hands with a heart around us and around the heart it says I love you mama. I pick her up and put her on my lap.

"It's beautiful Honey!" I say kissing her on the noes she just giggle, then looks up at Jace.

"Mama it's the guy in the photo." She says still looking at Jace.

"Yeah Pas it is." I respond

"Clary who is this?" he asks me in a voice that I know he is getting angry.

"I'm Paisley but you can call me Pas." She pipes up before I can answer. "Mama Can I have something to eat?" she asks me.

"Sure I will go find you something. I tell her, she jumps off my lap and grabs my hand going towards the fridge. I pull out the bread butter and jam. I but the toast in the toaster oven and wait for it to pop up.

"Mama who is that man?" she asks me referring to Jace.

I think if I should tell hear the truth or not and I decide that I haven't lied to her yet and I don't want to start know. "That is your father in there." I tell her.

Her eyes widen "is he nice?"

"Yes he is." I tell her. "But he may be shocked to see you so be nice to him, and let me talk to him before you saying anything." She nods while taking her toast out and putting butter and jam on it. I hand it to her and she runs back to where everyone else is sitting and starts to eat it getting jam all over her face. I grab a paper cloth and walk over to them.

"Can we talk?" Jace asks when I come back. I nod as he leads me to a different room. I tell him everything and once I am done he looks kind of pale.

"So you mean that is my daughter?" he says stumbling over the words I just nod and he takes a deep breath in and I know he is trying not to get mad. "Can I see her?" He asks me in a tone of voice I can't tell the emotion. I go and get Pas while Jace stays in the other room. I see that she has finished her Toast and has jam all over her face and is talking to Izzy and Simon. I laugh and go and clean off her face.

"Come on someone wants to see you." I tell her leading her into the room Jace is. She follows me and when we get into the room she suddenly get shy and hides behind my leg Jace comes and knells down beside me and is still a little taller than Pas.

"Hey there." She says.

"Hi." She says quietly

"Do you know who I am?" he asks her

"Daddy." She says I see Jace's eyes shining with unshed tears. He holds out his arms for her and she goes to hug him. I regret the decision I made four years ago so much right now. I didn't want to interrupt this but I had put Pas to bed or she would really grumpy tomorrow.

"Pas we have to go, you need to get some sleep." She just yawns a nods her head.

"Can I come by tomorrow" Jace asks me looking down at Pas.

"Sure." I say writing the address on a piece of paper and then had it to him, and with that I take Pas hand and lead her out to the car.


	3. Chapter 3

chapter 3

**I'm very sorry about not updating sooner but life has been super crazy, my parents got a divorce right before school started and my mom wanted to get away so she moved me and my oldest brother from California to France with her. Now we are moving to Dunedin New Zealand because it is more remote. I went to the school library to write this because we don't have a computer. I will try my hardest to update as soon as i can but i don't know if where i am going will have computers. anyways here is chapter 3.**

**-N**

A shrill beeping noise wakes me up Monday morning, I roll over in my bed and hit my alarm clock making it shut up. I stand up and walk to Pas' room to wake her up and get ready for school.

"Sweet pea it's time to get up." I say in her ear and kiss her forward head. She stirs in her sleep and starts to sit up.

"Mmk mama." She says rubbing her eyes. I stand up and walk out of the room and into the kitchen. I grab bread, eggs, avocado, lettuce, mayo, and mustard out of the fridge and start to make an egg sandwich. Right when I am done frying her sandwich Pas walks in and looks in the fridge to start making her lunch. She pulls out peanut butter and jelly and makes a PB&J for her lunch and grabs an apple to put in there to. She then jumps up on the bar stools and starts eating her breakfast.

I go into my bed room and start getting dressed for the day. I but on black leggings and a large sweater that says California across it. I pull on a green scarf with a peacock feather design. I then put on my converse and go back in the kitchen.

"Are you ready for your first day of school?" I ask Pas.

"I guess, but mama what if no one likes me?"

"What are you talking about? Of course people will like you."

"Ok." She says smiling up at me.

"Well then come on we have to get going if we don't want to be late." I tell her as she runs into her room to grab her backpack. I quickly put my hair into a side braid so I at least look a little presentable.

Pas comes back a minute later with her backpack and then grabs her lunch box and runs out the door and into the car. I follow her and get into the driver's seat and start driving to Pas school. Once we get there I walk around the car and help Pas out of her booster seat. She grabs her backpack and my hand as we walk into the school. I find her class room and lead her in and up to the teacher's desk. She looks up when she hears us come in. she looks at me and then at Pas, she has a look of disappointment on her face probable because I don't look my age I look around 16 or 17 maybe and Pas is obviously my kid.

"Hello you must be Paisley fray, and you must be her mother." Says the teacher.

"Yes we are."

She just nods and takes Pas to her seat after I hug her and say good bye.

I walk out of the class room and start walking to my car, but I wasn't able to get very far before someone called after me. I turn around and see a young guy who looks to be around 20 or 21 walking towards me.

"Was that your sister you just dropped off?" he asks me coming even closer.

"Umm no that was my daughter." I say not moving at all.

His eyes grow wide, "But your only like 18!" he says

"20 actually."

"Wow you started young."

"She wasn't planed if that's what you're wondering."

"I didn't think so, is the dad still in her life?"

"Isn't it always."

"Were you dropping off your kid?"

"Oh who me? No it was my little brother, I don't have any kids."

I just nod looking up at him, he is really good looking he has blue eyes and blond hair, like Jace. with freckles sprinkled across his face. He was probably around 6' 2 or 3 a little bit taller than Jace. Why do I keep comparing him to Jace? I don't like him any more I don't.

"What's your name?" I ask him

"Ryley what's yours?"

"I'm clary."

"Well clary it's very nice to meet you."

"Like wise."

"What are you doing after this?"

"Nothing really I was just going to go do some shopping, Pas birthday is coming up."

"Well do you have sometime right now to get coffee somewhere? I know a great place."

I think about it for a little bit, there is no reason why I shouldn't. After all I am trying to get over Jace because I know that it will never work out between us.

"I would love to." I tell him.

He just smiles a big smile and I think maybe just maybe this will work out.

**hoped you liked it please read and review. **

**-N**


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